Hey, Benny

I have to share something incredible from Benny via his good friend and earth angel. I've been trying to word it myself these past few days, but have felt as if I've been stumbling and inadequate.

Benny

Anybody who's heard the lonesome whine on the highway knows that feeling. That's what Benny has been trying to tell us. I kept thinking I was hearing it, his message, from little Paris who passed away. I kept thinking I was hearing it when I lost my Mookie. I thought I'd heard it when Junior was killed. I have felt a lot of loss....Ray, my cat and his brother, Roy. T-Rex. Little Piggles. There were times when I just didn't think I could bear another day. When Frenchie, my cockatiel was killed by the cats. And, Sally Jesse, my other cockatiel who used to wolf whistle and was given to me by an old lady who thought Sally was a girl. When Petey died, I about died, too. I used to sit out front of the house and yell his name every night. The blue parakeets get my soul the most.

Benny and his friend sat at a beautiful roadside park...watching the trucks roll by like the Emmylou Harris song, Boulder to Birmingham.

Here is what Benny told Patti.

The whole trip with Benny to TX and now back home has a quality I can only describe as magical.  I want to share with you both cause I cannot phathom, yet, who else I can share this with. As you both know, Benny is a powerful communicator.  Throughout our whole trip together many things were answered and settled for me, and my understandings continue to deepen as I slowly get home. It felt like Benny and i spent many many hours in what I can best describe as a kind of 'contemplation' where insights were revealed.

Here is an example that you will both relate with of what I mean.  A couple of hours before getting to Dougs Benny made it very clear to pull over.  I did, pulled into a beautiful park where we both sat together under a tree.  It felt like we went into a medatative state together, and Benny shared with me (as best I can write it) that we are all Heart beings and that is what we want to share with each other.  Real loving changes your life, it changes your action and you cannot avoid pain. The avoidance of pain is the primary motive of those who wish to remain superficial.....intimacy must be suffered and it is the kind of suffering that awakens you, it is joyous if you suffer it most profoundly.  Love has a wall of pain in it, if you do not endure that pain then you make social convention out of it and it ammounts to nothing.  Love is what everyone is struggling with, love is the most profound and the most difficult activity to do.  Love is a wound, it is the hole in the universe, you must become heart wounded, that is the doorway to the most profound life.  Love breaks the heart and that is where the profound spiritual life begins.

At heart, all are One.  At heart, a human is not the slightest bit different from the reptiles, the birds, the elephants, the plants, the trees, the wind, the sky, the microbes.  Apart from their function in conditionality, all beings are the same.  All beings will seemingly part.  All beings will die.  Death is utterly acceptable to consciousness and life.  All life is participation in sacrifice.  You should be humbled by this knowledge.  You cannot breathe without sacrificing self-conscious beings.  Do not be guilty about it. Know it.  You are to be sacrificed.

I don't want to hear a love song
I got on this airplane just to fly
And I know there's life below
But all that it can show me
Is the prairie and the sky

And I don't want to hear a sad story
Full of heartbreak and desire
The last time I felt like this
It was in the wilderness and the canyon was on fire
And I stood on the mountain in the night and I watched it burn
I watched it burn, I watched it burn.

I would rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham
I would hold my life in his saving grace.
I would walk all the way from Boulder to Birmingham
If I thought I could see, I could see your face.

Well you really got me this time
And the hardest part is knowing I'll survive.
I have come to listen for the sound
Of the trucks as they move down
Out on ninety five
And pretend that it's the ocean
coming down to wash me clean, to wash me clean
Baby do you know what I mean

I would rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham
I would hold my life in his saving grace.
I would walk all the way from Boulder to Birmingham
If I thought I could see, I could see your face. 

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Short on water, but full of love

Today just plain sucked. Our pipes froze due to the winter storm and it was hard to keep my spirits up. I'll admit, I've been pretty down the past few days since losing Paris. I'm just sad. I feel like I let Paris down.

I would love to write about Benny. He is keeping me going right now. He's really 'learning' me how to live life. It's not an accident Benny came into my life.

I got an incredible letter from Patti tonight. She's trying to make her way back to Mendocino through the ice and snow, but still uploading Benny's photos and updating his blog.

There is so much sadness right now. So many animals are being abandoned and it's hard to keep plugging away. Benny has a special message for all of us. I just don't feel like it's mine to tell right now. I've put in a request to Patti about sharing it. Hopefully, tomorrow she'll say it's ok. Just not one of those things you broadcast on your own. It's like finding the Dead Sea Scrolls down by Lake Austin and not knowing what to do with them. One thing I do know for sure, Benny will let us all know how to carry his message.

For now, there are others who need help. There is a girl in LA who's stealing my heart. Her name is Spots and she's out of time. She is beautiful inside and out like a bluenose German Shorthair Pointer. She is as sweet as candy. You can feel her soul right through the computer screen. I have a nice family whom I've written about her. I just have a special feeling.

Chika loving life

Davika is now Chika and her tumors are giving her a problem again. She is the beautiful girl who was on death row at Martinez in the medical ward where they were literally counting the minutes till they could kill her. I saw her face and knew this was a girl who wanted to live. I could feel that all the way from the east bay to Apache Shores!

Chika had a horrible past where she'd been beated with a lead pipe, teeth broken and an infected ingrown foxtail in her jaw. She has a grade five heart murmur which makes for touchy going in regards to surgery. We gave her a very controversial nosode for her tumors, but they still had to be surgically removed. She had a major dental with several extractions and removal of the nasty foxtail.

Rudy adopted her and they go on lovely weekend hikes with her adopted brother, Boom Boom. Rudy is very frightened as her poor mouth has flared up again and she is in need of further surgery.

I know she will pull through. She is a phenomenal dog and a star.

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Benny's is here and helping tame the wild Texas west

The past two days have been fraught, my new favorite word, absolutely fraught with anxiety and tension. I have to blame the over abundance of animals in shelters, their sad faces begging for a chance to live. They just don't know why their families have dropped them off and abandoned them. They do not know what they did wrong.

There are so many seniors, puppies, cats, kittens, just droves and droves. Speaking of droves, Benny is here. Yesterday, when I was so stressed about all these poor ones I couldn't save..just so dang many..I kept thinking of Benny and how he has held on and hoped. Benny is a seer. He's really more than any other being I can think of. He is in a dog suit, but like a very wise man...almost like I would imagine Gandhi was in person. Just calm and centered. Knowing that he's a part of the universe, but not the whole universe.

Patti and Benny

When he got here with Patti yesterday, I put the pedal to the metal and couldn't get to our meeting place fast enough. One of the stresses had been my old car going kaput. That battery just gave out like I'm gonna give out one of these days..just short circuit on the side of the road somewhere. You'll see me spinning around and around in the gravel like some old deranged break dancer.

Anyway, all day yesterday and more days before than I care to mention, I'd start to go off and have to remember to stay calm for Benny's sake. I can't do him or anyone else any good if I lose it. Benny gets me. Benny gets everyone. He gets letters from all over the world. He has already touched so many lives in just three weeks.

When I got to the Iguana, our meeting place, he was sitting in Patti's back seat. Patti had driven Benny all the way here from California. Patti is a whole other blog. She is as angelic as Benny. I am extremely blessed to have Benny and Patti in my life.

I haven't wanted to write very much on the blog here lately since I lost Paris Hilton. I'm so sad. I feel like I let him down. I found out that the seeds I was using from Tomlinson's killed Paris Hilton. They were old and had rancid fat. I found out that some of these seed salespeople and companies are very unscrupulous. I should have known better, but thought I was giving him quality seed from a reputable pet store. Wrong. Even though I feed the birds chopped up fresh organic veggies, quality pellets and home grown sprouts for birds, I added a seed mixture for what I thought was a well balanced bird diet. I learned the hard way and through the death of my beloved Paris Hilton.

I am turning it loose now. I won't hang onto bad feelings. That's what Benny and the Animal Alliance are teaching me. In order to stay centered and open to direction, I have to let go of the anger. I feel it's necessary to write it down so other bird lovers won't lose their pets as I lost Paris Hilton. I am sorry to Paris.

Further stress came from a small shelter I'd been saving dogs from. I had to borrow two crates from them in order to transport two dogs Reunion rescued from them. I paid the transporter to save these two and Suzie Wong who's now called Mabel. The dogs were taken all the way to San Francisco and the crates only made it back to Modesto where they've been sitting for three weeks. I tried to replace the crates, but it's really easier to home a pit bull than to transport crates from one town to the other.

Bottom line, I got so many stressful emails about the crates today that I'm gonna have to think twice before I pull another dog from that shelter. Same sort of thing happened a couple of years ago when I pulled Pip from a shelter nearby this one. The shelter got very nasty over the Pip incident...fully described in Pit Bull Nation, The Story of Pip. I just don't have the fortitude to pull dogs from shelters whose employees spend their workday criticizing volunteer rescue workers.

Back to Benny. Back to breathing. I got a nice photo of Benny this morning from Doug. He, Benny, is fitting right into the schedule at Doug's. Maybe I can take a page from Benny's book and learn how to fit into the scheme of things in my crazy life.

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Benny's Path: In Gallup NM

Benny's Path: In Gallup NM: "We arrived in Gallup NM tonight. What a day of contrasts. First we were in the Mojave desert, before noon it was a sunny 70 degr..."

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The Animal Alliance: Eyes on the Prize

Yesterday was a test. I finally made a decision to take Paris Hilton to the avian vet. For birds, this is a huge decision. I was not only concerned with allopathic treatment, but taking a sickly parakeet to the hospital is extremely stressful. When a bird is showing signs of weakness and frailty, a simple trip to the vet can do more harm than good.

I decided to take Valentina, Paris's cagemate and best friend. For over a month, Valentina has been feeding and caring for Paris. I initially became concerned when Paris has watery droppings and began fluffing out his feathers. I studied several homeopathy sources and gave Paris veratrum 30c which immediately firmed the droppings. However, he still remained quiet and feathers ruffled. He quit flying and although not completely lethargic, certainly no longer active as he'd previously been.

I made an appointment and took Paris yesterday to the avian vet. He had to stay all day to receive fluids and have x-rays. They allowed Valentina to stay there with him. This was comforting for her and well as for Paris. I got a call to pick them up around 6 p.m. The doctor had found a small spot in the x-ray on Paris's liver. I had suspected liver and not from any great detective work on my own, but I'd asked Paris to let me know what was bothering him. When birds act this disturbed, it's often serious as in the wild, any sign of weakness or illness will signal a predator. I was scared and didn't know what to do.

In my feeble attempts to find out on my own what was going on with Paris, I kept being diverted to liver. When I would look up homeopathic remedies and note his symptoms, liver ailment and disease would keep popping up. I've learned to trust these 'coincidences' over the years. I know it's Paris' way of telling me what is wrong with him. In his way, he must be as careful with me as he is being careful disclosing his ailment to predators. Were his symptoms to be misdiagnosed, his health and wellbeing could be compromised. Caution and intuition is the key.

It also helps to remain calm and remember to let go of all the anger. This is hard when one of our rescue dogs is mistakenly at Oakland Animal Services and we cannot seem to get her out of there. Suzie is suffering from demodex which is complicated and amplified by stress. I can't think of a more stressful place than a dog pound for a dog with all that clanging and banging. After speaking with the counter person today, I'm sure Suzie is debilitating in that environment.

The counter person was rude and passive aggressive on the phone. Certainly, Oakland Animal Services can use the kennel space occupied by our dog for another needy animal. Suzie has a rescue and place to go. This is a huge waste of time and energy...the problem with most shelters we deal with. It seems people like counter person Vera think being difficult and condescending with volunteer rescue organizations is a perk of the job.

Turquoise today...eyes on the prize

Back to trying to breathe and let go of the anger for the sake of the animals. We are trying to arrange a transport for Benny today. He is due to leave Mendocino tomorrow with Patti by car. There is a long shot chance for him to ride along with a person traveling from Tuscon to San Antonio where I'll pick him up and bring him back to Austin. I'll need all my spiritual ducks in a row to help make this happen. I'll need the ducks to help me with Paris and to keep letting all these outside stresses go.

Again, I have to feel sorry for the people who obviously have no regard for animals and their welfare. I am lucky to have the gift of all these animals in my life. They truly are the prize and today, I'll try and keep my eyes on the prize.

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The Animal Alliance

Today, I'm starting my journal on the Animal Alliance. My own definition of the Animal Alliance is this. I believe there is a greater good, a universal truth at work. This is not of my own creation, but of information given me by the animals. I've only been given a tiny piece of it and this is for a couple of reasons. First being, I am just too human to get it. Not a behaviorist or a scientist, I'm not using correct terminology, however, I know what I'm supposed to know and that much I know for sure.

I read recently that writing a novel is like driving in the dark with your headlights on dim. That is how I'm being guided by the animals from one point to the next. Until I was perfectly ready to proceed in that fashion, to be guided rather than take the lead and go galloping off into the wild wonder, I was not receiving signals. In other words, I was unprepared to learn. Now, I am ready to discover my path and where it will lead.

Another part of my puzzle recently came from my friend, Clare. Clare is my guru. She very gently suggests  to me how to prepare for this journey. I've been getting signals, 'coincidences', all my life, but never knew fully what they meant. The repo man in the movie explained it best when he asked his friend, 'have you ever been driving along and thought of plate of shrimp, then see a billboard with a plate of shrimp?' That's a pretty trailer park explanation, but it gets the point across.

Even though I don't eat shrimp, I get the analogy. When I'm walking or working, doing what I'm supposed to do, a tiny thing might happen. I'll look at one of the animals here and perhaps think of a song that reminds me of them. Persia likes Waylon Jennings...not! Maybe I'll look at Persia and think how wonderful he is, healthy and inquisitive. Then that song or another quirky Persia song will come on the radio.

My best moments happen with songs and that's why Pit Bull Nation is full of song references. Albert Schweitzer wisely said, 'man can cure all ills with music and cats.' So true. When I'm soothed with music and song, I'm able to receive the messages I need to receive.

I see a million sad faces across my computer screen each day. We are living in a bloodbath as Kathleen H. says. I will see that one I think I might be able to reach out to. Two weeks ago it was Benny. I got something so strong from Benny.

In truth, Benny was literally at death's door. He had given up on life. He had no hope. I asked Clare to help. I asked if Benny could be sent a message to hang on one more day. I was asking a dog who had never known hope to try and believe. This dog had never known one day of kindness in his life. He was beaten and burned with cigarettes. He was living by eating what garbage he could find.

Two weeks later, Benny is something of a messiah. He has a blog and is living in a wonderful foster home with Patti and Raven. He is being treated homeopathically and with good healthy raw diet. Benny is a seer. He gets letters from all over the world. People walk down the road where Patti lives and call out to Benny. Imagine a being like Benny in the horror where he was? Imagine the types of individuals who are incapable of understanding an incredible creature like Benny.

Benny came into my life at a time when I was able to understand. Benny has given me the connection from rescuing animals to a greater, more universal phenomenon. To prepare, I've been advised to give up all hate, all anger. I couldn't see this at all. How can one not be angry at all of the wrong going on? I would agree, but secretly harbor that self-righteous fury I held against all of the wrongdoers who hurt animals. Until Benny, I couldn't see that I was part of the problem. Even knowing I was part of the problem was not enough.

What I needed to discover and what Benny is teaching me is a simple reality almost scientific in nature. If I am full of wrath, whether I'm right or wrong irrelevant, I cannot receive guidance to continue and be a part of this great truth. We are being advised from sage sources our planet and very existence is in danger. Without getting into world ecology and debate, I will simply note the certainty of that prediction. My own personal reality is my work cannot progress if I do not release this anger. To Benny, to myself and to all of the animals before and ahead, I would like to go on record today saying I release this anger. I am now ready to serve.

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John Wayne wannabe out to kill pit bulls

Ex-judge Cynthia Kent has decided to grab her black robe and step back into the ring. This time, she’s going after pit bulls. Kent’s decision making involves the guidance of her hero, John Wayne, whose portrait hung in her courtroom.

By-products of breed specific legislation

Kent retired from the bench in 2008 to join her husband’s law firm. The quiet life has proved too uneventful for her and unlike the dogs she hates who’ve retired from fighting, this gal seems to miss the frenzy.

A horrible mauling occurred involving Justin Clinton in June 2009. Rather than look for real solutions to prevent dog attacks, Kent saw this death as an opportunity to put herself in the limelight. She is working with the Clinton family to draft legislation which would make pit bull ownership in the state of Texas a federal crime. Owning the first American native dog breed would land a normally lawful citizen in jail.

Pit bulls have always attracted a negative element and their most recent opponent, Kent, is as formidable as Michal Vicks on a Saturday night at the dogfights. People like Kent who spew opinions disquised as fact are even more deadly and especially formidable when carrying a law degree even if that sheepskin came from South Texas College of Law.

The question is where Kent gets her statistics and her dog behavior experience? This woman might know law, but fact remains, she does not know dogs. Anyone who pushes such extreme hate-filled legislation like making pit bull ownership a felony is ignorant of both scientia caninus and breed specific legislation that has never worked and never will.

The real danger facing the country is not pit bulls, but legislators who are looking for fame in all the wrong places. This means you, Cynthia Kent. The criminal horror of dog mauling is unforgivable to which all pit bull lovers will agree, but the solution is not banning an entire breed. The answer will only be found in education and training.

If Cynthia Kent has her way, all of her state and our state’s beloved pets will be confiscated and destroyed. She’ll have her career and her old John Wayne movies, but thousands and thousands of innocent dogs will be slaughtered. How can fear based mass destruction be considered a sane fix?

When considering the amount of research and thought behind Kent's drastic measure, the pit bulls and their owners might stand a better chance in John Wayne's wild west when law came from the barrel of a gun.

An open Facebook group, Stop Justin's Law, has been formed by dog lovers who seek a rational solution to insane legislation.

Please send all pit bull stories and tips to doggirl1@earthlink.net

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Continue reading on Examiner.com: Lady John Wayne comes out of retirement to kill pit bulls - Dallas Pitbull | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/pitbull-in-dallas/lady-john-wayne-comes-out-of-retirement-to-kill-pit-bulls-1#ixzz1BtmjD0MV

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