Today was a sad day..looking for a friend's missing dog. I know how that feels. Luckily, I've been able to find Arky, my old cockatiel, the two times he flew the coop thanks to Marti Miller. Don't be giving out her name, tho, as she hates to be called for lost pets. Especially when there is a sad ending.
However, I think Benny can help us on this one. I think Benny has an extra sensory perception. I don't think it's an accident that all of us are feeling so close to Benny and so many of us human animals are opening up our lives and innermost thoughts to Benny.
Today, Benny crawled up on my lap and cuddled in the sun. I can't say when I've had a more perfect and contented feeling. He is an incredible being.
Benny and me
After Benny got down, it seemed like every one of the dogs wanted a turn. All of them kept trying to crawl into my lap. I feel sorry for people who don't get this kind of attention. I felt like I was queen of the dog prom.
Benny's skin is getting better and like Doug said, he's getting little golden hairs and fuzz where before was only bloody open sores. I have a lot of hope for him.
Today, Benny just played and romped. It was so cute. He kept jumping up on Sampson, this shepherdy/rottie/retriever boy. Sampson was almost given up when his mom's boyfriend moved in, but looks like the boyfriend's out and Sampson's in, last check. That's always the best choice, ditch the dude and keep the pooch. Hands down.
Benny just kept after Sampson and looked like he was trying to catch a ride or almost like he was trying to surf Sampson. It was really cute, but finally, Sampson had enough. Then Benny went and got a big drink of water with all the other dogs.
A good day is a day lolling in the sunshine at Doug's with all of the dogs.
Benny is doing better and better, but slowly. That's ok, we have the rest of our lives. He is making friends at Doug's, namely Rummy, who began by licking Benny's boo boo's the first day Benny arrived.
Today, Clare, Patti and I were emailing a bit about Benny. Clare has the best animal stories. She recently had a transcript with a rabbit who called another rabbit a shit head.
People think bunnies and parakeets are all flowers and sugar, but they are beings just like big people and have big personalities as well.
This particular bunny, and I'm borrowing Clare's experiences here, hoping it's ok, because she just has the best animal experiences of anyone I've ever encountered. Anyway, this Mr. Bunny learned this behavior and term from humans, of course. I won't tell the whole story as that belongs to Clare, but the amazing parts to me involved the bunny's mate, a former WWII cook. If anyone is familiar with the cuisine during those times, rabbit was quite in vogue if for no other reason than availability during stressful times of rationing.
These bits of knowledge are fascinating to me. I do not communicate with animals myself. I've tried, but my time has not come yet. I feel they need me for other things. If I were able to have the gifts that Clare does with animals, I don't believe I would be able to deal with all of the ones who come across my computer screen every day, day in and day out. If I were to know all of the horror stories, I don't believe I could bear it.
When I look at the photographs each day that Doug sends of Benny, I am filled with a peace that is not of my own making. I am filled with one message and it's from Benny. He tells me, 'just wait, Cindy. Be patient. Your time will come. Right now, you have a job to do. Just as I do, as all of the animals do. You are a member of a great community. A member."
These words are very important to me. I began several months ago for no outward reason to ask for guidance and how I might be able to serve. It was frightening to do this. As my friend, Chaz, says, "hey, I don't want to go to Africa!" I get that. I'm always afraid I'll be asked to do some big huge Stanley and Livingstone missionary endeavor. I needn't worry. That job is not for me. I know that now. I will not be asked to do something that I would be no good at. I am not missionary material. That is not my calling.
I do know that if I should simply ask to be of service, I will find myself productive. There will be no time for anger and vile thoughts, but I can still be kinda spicy acting. I can still have my own tweaked out sense of humor and I can laugh and be entertained all day by the animals and my own thoughts.
In my book, Pit Bull Nation, I liken myself to part Bunny Rabbit from Captain Kangaroo and part Big Love Lois. I am proud to see parts of me in these characters and to know that I will find even more strange and beautiful characteristics in my nature as my journey unfurls.
What a wonderful sad old world. What a wonderful life.
This blog is dedicated to my wonderful human friend, Clare.
All day long, been doing bookkeeping and my whole world falling apart. In between trying to get the books caught up, feeding the animals, chasing last minute dogs across my computer and wishing I was chasing them out in an open field. So many animals sitting there in shelters knowing they're about to die.
All I can do is try to write a little article about one or two a day and hope for the best. Well, today, two happy things happened. Little Tita was adopted! I'm not saying it was due to me or my article, but maybe a bit of good wishes out there land in the right place.
A picture of fear
Also, my friend, Kimberly and her colleague, Maria, are pulling Rocky, a little 8 month lab mis-categorized as a pit bull at the Garland Animal Control. The difference in his photos of a scared 'I'm going to die in here' dog the other day and today's photo speak volumes. He knows he's saved. They can tell! This is the Animal Alliance at work. It's quiet strength is changing us and helping us change the world. We had better listen.
Little Rebel, my Dallas boy, who came from the east side just came up to me and touched his cold wet nose to my face. He is my love. He has rescued me more than once since that day 16 years ago when he wandered up to Scott that morning. It was the morning after I'd lost Fu Manchu, our other chow, after he'd been killed at Lover's Lane Animal Hospital on Lover's Lane in Dallas.
A picture of hope
So many dogs in Dallas and everywhere else right now. Well, one thing's for certain, I won't be getting anyone's teeth cleaned ever again and I won't be taking any animals to Lover's Lane Animal Hospital. In fact, you would have to drag me kicking and screaming and my dog, too, inside most vet hospitals.
When you feed organic raw meat and pure water, treat your dog or cat homeopathically, ain't much can happen to them. There just aren't that many diseases you can't cure yourself. Right, Rebel? When Rebel had a high liver count a few years ago, first thing they said was Cushing's or Addison's. I've since come to learn that when some of these vets don't know what's wrong and the liver count's high, it's either Cushing's or Addison's and they need a lot of tests with the meds being more suspect than the disease.
Me and Rebel just took our chances and some Healthy Liver Tonic. That was over 7 years ago. He might very well have had Cushing's or Addison's, but you'll have to catch him first to tell him.
I hope lil' Tita is in her happy home tonight. I hope Rocky who's name is getting changed first thing keeps that hopeful look on his little face. He knows now that there are some nice humans and he knows two of them.
And thank you, Benny, for having a wonderful life and letting us all be a part of your life.
I just want to write about Benny every day. I was about to go walk Pip, but I got to looking at Benny's pictures from yesterday and then 'When God Made Me" came on the radio.
I look at Benny's picture and think about that first time I accidentally saw it. I remember thinking that boy has given up. That seems like an eternity ago and it was only a few weeks. Since then, I've met so many new people and grown closer to ones I already knew.
The whole world has taken on a new sheen for me. These words of Neil's, yeah, I'm an old hippy, really bring it home to me when I think about Benny.
Here is Benny's picture when I saw him that night. I had no idea that Four Strong Winds would blow him all the way from Turlock, California to out here in Apache Shores and to me. Crazy, right...as in Crazy Horse. Nothing is an accident. It was no accident that I saw Benny that night. It was no accident that Patti offered to let Benny move in with her and Raven.
It was no accident that Doug made the mistake of saying, 'shame he ain't here.' Well, he is here now.
................I'll look for you if I'm ever back this way.
If I get there before the snow flies,
And if things are going good,
You could meet me if I send you down the fare.
But if you wait until it's winter,
It will be no good
'Cause that wind sure can blow way out there.
Four strong winds that blow lonely, Seven seas that run high,
All these things that don't change, Come what may.
But our good times are all gone,
And I'm bound for moving on.
I'll look for you if I'm ever back this way.
When I listen to Neil and Pegi Young sing this song I get it. I get for just a little bit of a minute the great lesson Benny has brought me. I feel it when the crowd breathes and lifts to the song. There is hope for all of us, for all God's creatures. Just like Benny told Patti.
And today, everything like I said is full and rich and better. I am so lucky to have the animals here in my life. Today, I'm not stopping and trying to remember in fear that they might be gone suddenly like Paris. The difference, and this is much to do with my lessons from Benny, is today I am rejoicing with the lives of each and every one of them. I know Mr. Francis, the beautiful lutino cockatiel who just moved here is still a bit skittish and very well might always be. However, I can do my job and make sure he has lots of homemade mash and fresh veggies..no more rancid seed from Tomlinson's...his beak stays dirty and crusty with lots of good food and that's a good thing.
My cats, the kittens all from Mr. Doug, are all luxuriating in the sunshine today. I just went out to the porch where they're lolling and lolled with them. Slim Harpo is earning his new nickname, Freddy Krueger, by going after my scalp with his claws. Since they've moved in, everybody seems to have relaxed and settled in. Life is good and that's in no small part to Benny.
I don't know where Benny will end up. I don't know if he will stay at Doug's or come here. I would love to spend my life with Benny.
Benny yesterday
I know I keep writing about this, but I feel as if it's important to note. How can anyone who had someone like Benny in their life not KNOW it, not revere him? Thinking of how those poor rotten souls treated and abused Benny in a way helps me to go on and do the work. Doug said something really profound to me when I started crying that day about Arthur and the beagles who were going to be killed in the medical testing facility. He said it was counter-productive. That woke me up like the shock of cold water. I cannot help anyone if I am morose and sad about the state of things in this world.
I got up, dusted myself off and re-grouped. That was well before Benny came into my life and showed me how to look at these people, with pity. They had a Gandhi in their midst and never even knew it.
I can use the teachings of that great man and the one he has sent to teach me to learn how to become truly enlightened, to restore and to be a part of this great adventure.
