Little bit sad tonight

It all becomes real when it's time to pick up the ashes. I'm not a rich well endowed shelter, but try to have every animal whether a rescue or one of the pets here cremated. I have a shrine upstairs where all of the ashes are held near the sunshine.

There is a little Frida Kahlo statue and one of her little dog. There are patron saints, Benedict and Francis. There is a Greek icon and some Mexican religious art. Then things got rather out of hand when some more fundamental types tried to get in on the act and give me little angels and scriptures...nice, but it's like when Gary's mother, Janet got a plaster rooster. Over the years, all of her friends started giving her chickens and it became a pain rather than a collection. You don't want to hurt someone's feelings, so you take these offerings.

I remember when Roy, my cat, was dying. He was offered reiki and let the reiki practitioner know that he saw all the little fairies and spirits flying around my shrine. He told her he would be there soon.

The little dog who died is going to Best Friends. I'm a little bit sad, because I remember the dog I asked Best Friends to help with. She was a beautiful dilute brindle. She didn't have the luxury of being accepted into Best Friends. Her name was Lapis Lazuli. I helped the guy who found her for a year, but she needed someone who knew dogs to rehab her. If I would have known then what I know now, I could have done more with detox and flushing her system. At the time, I only knew about Best Friends.

I called and begged them to consider Lapis Lazuli. I told them she was the greatest dog and truly workable. She was high prey drive, but she could have been one of the great ones in the sense of Martha and in the sense of Girl.

I promised Best Friends when I got them on the phone that I would raise whatever amount of money they required to take Lapis and work with her. I got the same spittle you hear from PETA when you call and ask for help with a real animal who's really being tested on in a research lab. I got the same canned answer, 'oh, we can't save them all...' and on and on. They were kind enough to recommend a local Austin 'behaviorist' at almost $300 an hour. I even called her and emailed.

I even got a reply....after the finder had taken Lapis to Town Lake and had her euthanized. Yeah, Best Friends, you got that right. We can't save them all.

Well, for x amount of dollars, they roll out the red carpet for beloved animals with an endowment. They have the Best Friends Pet Guardian Pet Trust Plan which includes the ability to select Angels Rest Pet Cemetary as your beloved pet's final resting place.

This is where Baxter's ashes will be going. I'm a little bit sad tonight. I'm sad at the death of Baxter which should never have happened. I'm sad at the death of little Lapis Lazuli which never should have happened. I'm sad that for the right amount of cash, even in death, some animals are welcomed and some are not.

I am committed to making a difference. Before I'm dead, dead and gone, I am going to find out what causes aggression. I'm already onto something. I know, know know know, it's connected to those vile rabies shots. I've seen it with my own two ojos.

I can do that for Baxter. I can do that for Lapis. I know in my heart and in my soul that these two beautiful beings are already romping together in that place where I shall join them...that place where everyone's tail wags and everybody has teeth..every animal is healthy. There is no sickness, there are no rich corporations who make money off sorrow. There is only goodness and there, everyone gets to be a best friend.

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