Thursday, February 3, 2011

Hey, Benny

I have to share something incredible from Benny via his good friend and earth angel. I've been trying to word it myself these past few days, but have felt as if I've been stumbling and inadequate.

Anybody who's heard the lonesome whine on the highway knows that feeling. That's what Benny has been trying to tell us. I kept thinking I was hearing it, his message, from little Paris who passed away. I kept thinking I was hearing it when I lost my Mookie. I thought I'd heard it when Junior was killed. I have felt a lot of loss....Ray, my cat and his brother, Roy. T-Rex. Little Piggles. There were times when I just didn't think I could bear another day. When Frenchie, my cockatiel was killed by the cats. And, Sally Jesse, my other cockatiel who used to wolf whistle and was given to me by an old lady who thought Sally was a girl. When Petey died, I about died, too. I used to sit out front of the house and yell his name every night. The blue parakeets get my soul the most.

Benny and his friend sat at a beautiful roadside park...watching the trucks roll by like the Emmylou Harris song, Boulder to Birmingham.

Here is what Benny told Patti.

The whole trip with Benny to TX and now back home has a quality I can only describe as magical.  I want to share with you both cause I cannot phathom, yet, who else I can share this with. As you both know, Benny is a powerful communicator.  Throughout our whole trip together many things were answered and settled for me, and my understandings continue to deepen as I slowly get home. It felt like Benny and i spent many many hours in what I can best describe as a kind of 'contemplation' where insights were revealed.

Here is an example that you will both relate with of what I mean.  A couple of hours before getting to Dougs Benny made it very clear to pull over.  I did, pulled into a beautiful park where we both sat together under a tree.  It felt like we went into a medatative state together, and Benny shared with me (as best I can write it) that we are all Heart beings and that is what we want to share with each other.  Real loving changes your life, it changes your action and you cannot avoid pain. The avoidance of pain is the primary motive of those who wish to remain superficial.....intimacy must be suffered and it is the kind of suffering that awakens you, it is joyous if you suffer it most profoundly.  Love has a wall of pain in it, if you do not endure that pain then you make social convention out of it and it ammounts to nothing.  Love is what everyone is struggling with, love is the most profound and the most difficult activity to do.  Love is a wound, it is the hole in the universe, you must become heart wounded, that is the doorway to the most profound life.  Love breaks the heart and that is where the profound spiritual life begins.

At heart, all are One.  At heart, a human is not the slightest bit different from the reptiles, the birds, the elephants, the plants, the trees, the wind, the sky, the microbes.  Apart from their function in conditionality, all beings are the same.  All beings will seemingly part.  All beings will die.  Death is utterly acceptable to consciousness and life.  All life is participation in sacrifice.  You should be humbled by this knowledge.  You cannot breathe without sacrificing self-conscious beings.  Do not be guilty about it. Know it.  You are to be sacrificed.

I don't want to hear a love song
I got on this airplane just to fly
And I know there's life below
But all that it can show me
Is the prairie and the sky

And I don't want to hear a sad story
Full of heartbreak and desire
The last time I felt like this
It was in the wilderness and the canyon was on fire
And I stood on the mountain in the night and I watched it burn
I watched it burn, I watched it burn.

I would rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham
I would hold my life in his saving grace.
I would walk all the way from Boulder to Birmingham
If I thought I could see, I could see your face.

Well you really got me this time
And the hardest part is knowing I'll survive.
I have come to listen for the sound
Of the trucks as they move down
Out on ninety five
And pretend that it's the ocean
coming down to wash me clean, to wash me clean
Baby do you know what I mean

I would rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham
I would hold my life in his saving grace.
I would walk all the way from Boulder to Birmingham
If I thought I could see, I could see your face. 

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